TUMBLR ASK: is it possible in your opinion to love more than one person at once? what is the difference between the love we have for a spouse,a lover,versus the love we have for a good friend?

I think it is possible to love more than one person at once, but I do think it is important to only commit yourself to one person, and to actively romantically love only one person.

“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter ofanxious concern for the well-being of one’s companion.” I rather strongly believe in that, and that’s why you can love a lot of people in your life, I think.

There are people in your life who will always have a special space carved out in your heart, no? This goes for friends, family, romantic partners. And you love them each in a different way, measured possibly by different amounts, but more importantly, in different ways this love can impact and manifest in your life.

Even when you can love different people differently, and possibly some at once, I think it is essentially a separate thing from the enterprise of monogamy, which is an active daily effort to continually love and demonstrate love.

So, in a way, it’s yes and no. You can love more than one person, but also, not really, depending on the type of love you mean, and how you define love.


TUMBLR ASK: 我一直挺喜欢看你的tumblr的,你文笔好棒啊,而且好多好多单词我都不认识,得查查字典才明白。你大概多久就能提高词汇量啊,可以请教一下吗?还有啊,来新加坡读书工作需要考托福吗?你在上什么专业,英语水平蛮高的呀!你们都用英语讲课?

Can I be vain and answer this in my perfectly-adequate-but-not-great-at-all Chinese?



TUMBLR ASK: Did you take literature and math in jc? And how do you find Marilyn Monroe,is she hot or too fat?

Because hotness and fatness are always antithetical?

TUMBLR ASK: Yeah. It is indeed a rarity that some girls decide to wait. I know quite a number who have had sex with their boyfriends,others have stopped at heavy petting and French kissing. Are you against premarital sex? I am.

I’m not sure why you talked specifically about girls only?

Nope, I am not against premarital sex.

TUMBLR ASK: Why do you watch almost all American tv? Are you interested in the culture there? How about say korean dramas,or Taiwanese shows?

An opportunity to talk about television?? I’ll take it!

I do watch A LOT of American television, and I love it. The nature of the industry in the US can offer us an insane number of shows to choose from, and a lot of which are well-produced, because they have to compete for viewership. In the process, a lot of good television is created.

But I’m definitely not just interested in American culture. I love anything cultural or historical, and I am super into Chinese culture and history, especially.

I don’t watch a lot of Korean or Taiwanese dramas, because some of them feature quite a lot of overused tropes, but I am open to any well-constructed shows. Do you have any to recommend? (I especially cannot stand the long-suffering good person who gets misunderstood repeatedly trope that always appears on Asian tv!!!! I suffer so much second-hand frustration.)

Anyway, but I watch an insane amount of Canto drama. Man, you don’t even know. I watch a lot of HK crime shows, especially. I have a few favourites that I watch over and over, and I follow a few actors throughout their career. You can ask me more about it if you’re interested, heh.

(Edit: I watch a lot of British shows too, and they are quite fundamentally different from American.)

TUMBLR ASK: Hi. Did you receive my last question? Just asking,why do you love tragedies so much? All your favourite books seem utterly sad and belong to the class of tearjerkers where you can’t read without a tissue in hand! Are you a happy person?

Haha I AM a happy person!!! I’m generally smiley and easily content and enjoy most things in life except bitter gourd and judgmental people.

But I do have a general inclination toward sad books/music. Not sure if you’ve experienced it, but this depicts the short version.

The long version is that reading sad books and listening to sad music makes you feel, and making you feel reminds you of being alive, and being alive is a wonderful thing! Also, because there’re always lessons to be learnt from all art alike, and I like that a lot of ‘tearjerkers’, as you put it, are tempered with wisdom. And also because there’s something so profound about sadness that it inspires the most potent poetry, don’t you think?

A recent non-sad book that I read: The Night Circus. It’s full of wonderful and magical things, and you won’t feel sad reading it. Well, mostly.

TUMBLR ASK: You Tumblr post about ideas and thoughts. Why don’t you share some of your life too, like maybe what you learnt in school, what you do when you hang out with your friends etc?

Haha now THIS message has really been taking residence in my inbox, and I truly apologise for not having answered some of my anons’ very sincere questions.

The truth is, I don’t really DO much in life. I’m a really boring person. I go to school (and well, my part-time work now too,) I go home, I watch an insane amount of tv, I do a lot of work cos I care about school and my learning, I read, I meet my boyfriend and we watch some more tv, I meet my friends, of which I don’t have very many, and I hang out at home with my family.

So utterly unexciting, don’t you think?

TUMBLR ASK: If you can choose, will you continue staying in the us or stay in singapore?

Hi anon, this question has been sitting in my inbox for a long time and I still haven’t figured a straightforward answer for you.

I love Singapore and all its idiosyncrasies, and it’s where my family is, so sometimes I think I could never leave it permanently. Especially cos I don’t wanna leave my mom.

But at the same time, I really want to work in the states for some time, cos sometimes the limited nature of the fields I wish to pursue in Singapore really frustrates me to no end, and I wish to grow and stretch as much as I can in my professional life. So, you know, maybe.

Sometimes the notion of pursuing your own dreams is antithetical to honouring the commitment to your anchors in life, and it’s always a tightrope I must walk.