TUMBLR ASK: About the issue on whether men and women can be ” just friends”, think about it this way, it’ll explain why you start to agree with harry: If you have a boyfriend, will you be very pleased if he has one female buddy from high school, whom he hangs out with one-on-one, has supper with late into the night, has phone conversations for hours and hours, but never has sex with?

Haha, I’m not sure which response you’re nudging me towards, but I do see the perspectives of both sides of the issue. I think the answer is: it depends.

Has my boyfriend known this female buddy all his life? Did they have a romantic history? Has there been unrequited love/bad timing in the past? Does he tell her things that he doesn’t tell me (eventually)? Does he blow me off to spend time with her?

And I don’t think you’re going to get a universal answer on this one. Some people will be fine with it, some won’t be, and some think they will be fine with it, but they won’t be. And it’s really about what you expect of other people and your personal sense of security when it comes to relationships. When two people are in a relationship, they will have to adjust to each other’s rhythms and expectations, and how they each interact with other friends of the opposite sex is definitely something they need to come to a conclusion to together.

It’s not as simple as ‘my boyfriend has a female friend, therefore I should be jealous’ or ‘my boyfriend has no female friend, that means he’s devoted to me.’ As all human relationships go, it’s about the nuances, the pauses, the little gaps and moments, the negotiations, etc.


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